HEART OR VIRGINITY?

A lot of people believe that everything in India walks the wrong way (like the cars on road). When asked about few things like sex, relationship, love an Indian would probably 99.9% say that love comes first then comes relationship then marriage, that too if they feel connected, and for a lot of people, over the time, connection is on basis of their compatibility on bed. For girls/women, losing their virginity is a big THING. India is still living in an Era, where women are still afraid of losing virginity because they are “THE IZZAT OF FAMILY” and also because of rumors that it can be known if a girl is virgin or not. The question that rises in my mind, while thinking about this is how does it matter? Can you know if a guy is virgin or not, if he does not confess himself? What is wrong in it, if you lose your virginity with someone you love, No matter what happens later in life?

Why is it that in our society virginity is HUGEEEEEE THING, whereas a heart is broken every now and then? On contrary, heart should have been the most important thing in this entire world and one should be afraid to break heart rather than breaking one’s virginity.

A survey says in US or any other foreign country, dating comes first which doesn’t involve words like I LOVE YOU, but they just stick to words “I like you” and “I am attracted to you”, whereas in India even before one actually knows about someone enough to LIKE him or her, one confesses “Yaarmujepyarhogayahaitujhse!”. Then the next step in relationship of foreign countries is sex, which is a big social stigma in India before marriage. Now the thought behind taking this step so fast is, they believe that indulging physically early would not distract them later when they are in love, as in they would like to know heart of other person rather thinking of having sex all the time, which happens in India where love happens first and people think and talk of sex more rather than sharing their life and emotions. Obviously this cannot be generalized, but more often this is what has been noticed.

After sex come’s commitment, that guys in India do not usually like to opt for and later comes marriage, a step that is taken after completely knowing about a person, unlike in India where two strangers are tied together or Lovers leave right before such moments because it wasn’t what they were planning.

Breakups and patch-ups are part of life, why to let it have a big effect on our life? Why we feel our life is waste if we fail? Try to read between the lines; try to understand that relationships mostly fail because of lack of understanding. Not that foreign couples do not part away, they do. Yes I agree that society influence is a lot in India as compared to other countries,  I am not saying that we are wrong and from tomorrow everyone should have sex first then move to next step, but think over it – is heart more important or your virginity.

Over the over confidence!

Confidence is a boon. It’s the internal power inside everyone, which always gives its hand at the time when no one does. It drives people towards doing the needful and achieving what’s aspired. But, as we all know – excess of everything has its own black side. And so, confidence is no exception. We all, in some time of our life, have fallen prey in the hands of over confidence. Be it during daily chores, important exams, or any goals, we have set for ourselves, over confidence blurs our vision and puts us into a path, which is not only the wrong way, but also a difficult one, felicitated with whole lot of surmountable and insurmountable problems. Once moved into that path, failure is an expected and very certain phenomenon.

As wise people say, prevention is always better than cure. Therefore, before we let failure kiss us good-bye, we must appoint our mind and a little bit of conscience as war horses to prevent us falling in the pit. So how can one do it? I, although a routine prey in the hands of over confidence, would like to share a few things, which have helped me a lot.

• Never lie to yourself – The first and the most ignored point. Never lie to yourself! You know it the best when you are lying to yourself. Lies don’t change the facts. The fact that you are not good at something won’t change if you start believing that thing to be a kid’s work. Always set a certain reality around and inside yourself.
• Comparison is a SIN – It’s serious. The fact that you are a separate person says it all. You cannot be as good as someone else in some activity. And comparing yourself with him and repeatedly inching towards failure by trying to do that same act is a grand act of foolery. You are different and so are your abilities. Instead of comparing yourself and wasting time in it, work on your strengths and increase them to a pinnacle standard.
• Limits are sweet – Just because you know somethingdoesn’t make you a master. Being in limits is always an encouraging thing to do. As already told, creating a fake image about yourself in your mind and working according to that will lead to nothingness. Instead, being with your original limits will do wonders, although slowly, but surely.
• Critics are best buddies – Lend your ears to everything that is constructive. May be it will sound rude, may be it will demoralize you, may be will you say a million abuses to the critic’s entire clan, but trust me, words from their mouth always serve as an excellent food for thought for your mind. Spend a little time on them, access yourself by being truthful and not egoistic and then, enjoy the results!
• Stays away from fake appraisals – Your friends are your life. They motivate you with all they have, but sadly, it is bad sometimes. And it is important to tell that it is not their fault. Taking wrong signals from praises and thinking yourself to be a super human is out right stupid! Be humbled with the praises and don’t set new ranks by climbing on them.
• Fantasies and realities are different – Sad but true. We create big hopes in our mind about something, we see ourselves doing things that are a rarity and assume that it can be done easily. On doing this, we prepare for it casually and when it comes to the real test, we find ourselves being roasted with the reality. We should always keep it in our mind that we have to do the thing, not how to do it, or how easy that is.
• Small goals – good goals – Lastly, this point is for improving yourself. Small goals, which are according to your current abilities should be set and achieved. This will not only divide the target into small achievable limits, but also will make the journey towards the feat an enjoyable one, full of small and big happiness of success.

So this is all you need to kill that bug of over confidence, before it starts chewing your grey matter. Before being possessed by it, it’s better to get over the over confidence.