An Open Letter to All

Dear all,

I am indeed very glad to witness your protests for rape cases , your speeches , debates and discussions on women empowerment and your promises to safeguard women in the country . I am grateful to you but I would have never preferred you to take the pain of coming to the streets and protesting or  holding large scale campaigns . Why not start by fixing up your own funny little grey cells !!

If you think rape , molestation and sexual harassment are the only problems that women face then I would like to turn your attention to many other  things that make us feel suffocated and doomed wherever we go .

Since my childhood I have always been told by you to learn household work along with my studies while my brother never bothered to see if anything else existed apart from his school , friends and cricket . When you are nurtured  a sense of patriarchy in him since childhood how did you expect him to respect his wife later in his life . He would do anything he liked and  you would ask me to behave like a “girl” .

” Don’t play with boys don’t hang out with your male friends , don’t speak in loud voice , don’t answer back !! ”

Why ?  Why shouldn’t I speak ?

Are you afraid that I will eventually blurt out all those stupid things I m subjected to  ?

Why do I have to prove myself when I want to pursue a course of my choice when my brother is provided with all the facilities he never asked for ?

Why do you limit your daughter to all those “girly” things when she wants to go out into the world and live freely?

When it comes to marriage why am I asked  “Arey , aapki shaadi nhi Hui ab tak ” whereas he is asked ” Aapne shaadi nhi Kari ab tak ” .

Why does marriage become a compulsion for me and a choice for him ?  Why is it always the boy has the right to reject the girl whereas a girl doing so would be considered inappropriate ? I don’t even understand that why does a thing like “character” or the much hyped “charitra” exists for a girl but not for boys . A boy with many girls will be a Casanova but the girl doing so is considered a slut .

At my workplace also why am the target of all your lewd jokes ? I have to bear your awful gaze and stupid comments every time . Getting a promotion would also put my so called “character” into question .

I m expected to be a good employee and an excellent housewife as well . I am alone supposed to be looking after everything in house in spite of being as fatigued as my spouse . But no …..you think it is only the men who have office issues whereas doing household work is my duty . Why don’t you see that you are also provided with the same number of pair of limbs as me ? Why can’t you work ?

Worst of all , it is considered decent to bear all the repression inflicted on me and I m expected to be mute to all the nonsense happening around me .

Do you even realise how suffocating it is ?

Sometimes I feel like fleeing but I know that wherever I go I will eventually fall into the clutches of this monster of patriarchy .

Why am I so disillusioned ?

Ladies please don’t think you are on the side of the angels here . Don’t forget you are one’s teaching your daughter to be “decent” and letting your sons do whatever they like . Laughing off their mistakes whereas punishing your daughters for the same . You are first one’s to question a woman’s character . You bear all the torture your husband inflicts on you and expect other women to do the same . You let patriarchy thrive and that’s why it comes to haunt you everywhere .

Protests, debates and discussions are not what is important . I want to see the practical implications of all that you speak of . A change in the government or some law is not what is important . Make a change in your perspective. Be the change yourself . If that happens these mass protests and campaigns won’t even be required and it then that a woman in our country will be respected in true sense .

Yours ,
A woman