You are on your own

While travelling through metro today, I saw this lady who was a north-eastern, standing with huge bag on her back and loads of money in her pocket. She was in her night dress, in metro with her sister or a friend, I don’t know. I managed to get a seat and was busy in untangling my ear phones which always messes up. As soon as, I untangled and got busy in listen to songs, my sight goes on this lady’s wrist. And I was horrified. What I looked at,wasn’t what I see rarely, but still I was like “what the heck!”

Now you all must be wondering “aisabhikyadekha”, so this lady, about whom I am talking since last 10 lines, had huge cuts of knife, starting from her elbow and ending on her wrist. No single place was vacant on her wrist. It was all cuts and bruises. The first thought that came to my mind was, what could be the reason behind this torcher she made herself go through? A lot of us go through a lot in life. And for many of us, relationships out of our family are sort of escapism from what we face around us. This typerelationship is the most fragile one; everything and anything can lead to the biggest mistakes of one’s life. No I am not talking of virginity here; virginity is no more called a MISTAKE. I am talking about the suicidal tendencies that are growing in numbers, day to day.

Sometimes not even a relationship, but family matters and all stuff like that, makes one do so. Cutting wrist, eating some medicine, drinking poison etc. have turned like a game, for people nowadays. I know and understand life is not easy to live. But, if you are so weak that anyone and everyone can have access to take away your life, then life becomes hell. We all, including me, need to learn every single day that, we, at any point of life are living for ourselves and are on our own. We cannot be dependent on anyone, and cannot expect that someone would bring peace in our life, because to have peace in life, one has to be in peace within them.

Nothing can raise you in life if you are yourself demoralized and nothing can bring you down if you are respecting your inner-self more than any damn thing around. This doesn’t mean that you start misbehaving with your parents or with anyone, as that would again disturb your peace of mind. But this surely means that we need to grow up, stop punishing ourselves for things we aren’t even responsible for, tit for tat might work a lot of times but not every time. Value yourself; don’t expect that someone else would do it for you. Remember, you came to this alone, you will leave alone. You were never ever born to satisfy or live on other’s terms but was born to live on your own terms.

CHANGE

I’m happy; I just can’t keep others happy!
well, many say I have changed, I say “change is good, change is worth the effort.”
you don’t just change in a day, you see, analyse, get hurt, get emotional, get betrayed and then one day you wake up to be someone totally different. Well, they just simply see the changes not the reasons behind you changing yourself.

There are happy days, and then there are sad days and then just DAYS. You keep yourself going somehow but then there is a disappointment that clings to your mind and body. This disappointment is out of nowhere, because the day you woke up and changed, your mind changed but then you felt stranded and alone. Suddenly you wish everything gets back to normal but it is too late! This is life, life is disappointing and expectations? Well, they hurt a lot more.
So just accept the change and focus on the pros rather than the cons. Because at the end of the day, those people because of whom you changed will themselves figure it out, because it’s not just your mess but there’s too.
Don’t take off on the guilt ride, everyone gets a chance to make a difference, everybody has to adapt to the change and then it changes completely, and this change is good, it keeps you going.

So yes I was somebody else yesterday, today I am someone new. No I do not change every day. I just keep myself going and then I adapt.
In this process, we lose many people, some are close and some are not! They are just stepping stones. You meet people, few stay, and the rest; well they walk away.
You can’t keep acting and pretending, some day you have to let go the people and live with the memory.

and now that I am a grown up, sensible enough to pen down my emotions, I find it easy for me to see and look through the changes and then simply accept them as a part and parcel of life!
But then don’t we a get a benefit of emotions? I mean cant we simply overlook and accept each others as we are, completely flawed and harmless! Just lost somewhere between the monopoly of life. Well, I guess not!
So when life is throwing these changes I me, I changed myself for my better own good!
As they “fittest survive”.
 
 

HEART OR VIRGINITY?

A lot of people believe that everything in India walks the wrong way (like the cars on road). When asked about few things like sex, relationship, love an Indian would probably 99.9% say that love comes first then comes relationship then marriage, that too if they feel connected, and for a lot of people, over the time, connection is on basis of their compatibility on bed. For girls/women, losing their virginity is a big THING. India is still living in an Era, where women are still afraid of losing virginity because they are “THE IZZAT OF FAMILY” and also because of rumors that it can be known if a girl is virgin or not. The question that rises in my mind, while thinking about this is how does it matter? Can you know if a guy is virgin or not, if he does not confess himself? What is wrong in it, if you lose your virginity with someone you love, No matter what happens later in life?

Why is it that in our society virginity is HUGEEEEEE THING, whereas a heart is broken every now and then? On contrary, heart should have been the most important thing in this entire world and one should be afraid to break heart rather than breaking one’s virginity.

A survey says in US or any other foreign country, dating comes first which doesn’t involve words like I LOVE YOU, but they just stick to words “I like you” and “I am attracted to you”, whereas in India even before one actually knows about someone enough to LIKE him or her, one confesses “Yaarmujepyarhogayahaitujhse!”. Then the next step in relationship of foreign countries is sex, which is a big social stigma in India before marriage. Now the thought behind taking this step so fast is, they believe that indulging physically early would not distract them later when they are in love, as in they would like to know heart of other person rather thinking of having sex all the time, which happens in India where love happens first and people think and talk of sex more rather than sharing their life and emotions. Obviously this cannot be generalized, but more often this is what has been noticed.

After sex come’s commitment, that guys in India do not usually like to opt for and later comes marriage, a step that is taken after completely knowing about a person, unlike in India where two strangers are tied together or Lovers leave right before such moments because it wasn’t what they were planning.

Breakups and patch-ups are part of life, why to let it have a big effect on our life? Why we feel our life is waste if we fail? Try to read between the lines; try to understand that relationships mostly fail because of lack of understanding. Not that foreign couples do not part away, they do. Yes I agree that society influence is a lot in India as compared to other countries,  I am not saying that we are wrong and from tomorrow everyone should have sex first then move to next step, but think over it – is heart more important or your virginity.

Over the over confidence!

Confidence is a boon. It’s the internal power inside everyone, which always gives its hand at the time when no one does. It drives people towards doing the needful and achieving what’s aspired. But, as we all know – excess of everything has its own black side. And so, confidence is no exception. We all, in some time of our life, have fallen prey in the hands of over confidence. Be it during daily chores, important exams, or any goals, we have set for ourselves, over confidence blurs our vision and puts us into a path, which is not only the wrong way, but also a difficult one, felicitated with whole lot of surmountable and insurmountable problems. Once moved into that path, failure is an expected and very certain phenomenon.

As wise people say, prevention is always better than cure. Therefore, before we let failure kiss us good-bye, we must appoint our mind and a little bit of conscience as war horses to prevent us falling in the pit. So how can one do it? I, although a routine prey in the hands of over confidence, would like to share a few things, which have helped me a lot.

• Never lie to yourself – The first and the most ignored point. Never lie to yourself! You know it the best when you are lying to yourself. Lies don’t change the facts. The fact that you are not good at something won’t change if you start believing that thing to be a kid’s work. Always set a certain reality around and inside yourself.
• Comparison is a SIN – It’s serious. The fact that you are a separate person says it all. You cannot be as good as someone else in some activity. And comparing yourself with him and repeatedly inching towards failure by trying to do that same act is a grand act of foolery. You are different and so are your abilities. Instead of comparing yourself and wasting time in it, work on your strengths and increase them to a pinnacle standard.
• Limits are sweet – Just because you know somethingdoesn’t make you a master. Being in limits is always an encouraging thing to do. As already told, creating a fake image about yourself in your mind and working according to that will lead to nothingness. Instead, being with your original limits will do wonders, although slowly, but surely.
• Critics are best buddies – Lend your ears to everything that is constructive. May be it will sound rude, may be it will demoralize you, may be will you say a million abuses to the critic’s entire clan, but trust me, words from their mouth always serve as an excellent food for thought for your mind. Spend a little time on them, access yourself by being truthful and not egoistic and then, enjoy the results!
• Stays away from fake appraisals – Your friends are your life. They motivate you with all they have, but sadly, it is bad sometimes. And it is important to tell that it is not their fault. Taking wrong signals from praises and thinking yourself to be a super human is out right stupid! Be humbled with the praises and don’t set new ranks by climbing on them.
• Fantasies and realities are different – Sad but true. We create big hopes in our mind about something, we see ourselves doing things that are a rarity and assume that it can be done easily. On doing this, we prepare for it casually and when it comes to the real test, we find ourselves being roasted with the reality. We should always keep it in our mind that we have to do the thing, not how to do it, or how easy that is.
• Small goals – good goals – Lastly, this point is for improving yourself. Small goals, which are according to your current abilities should be set and achieved. This will not only divide the target into small achievable limits, but also will make the journey towards the feat an enjoyable one, full of small and big happiness of success.

So this is all you need to kill that bug of over confidence, before it starts chewing your grey matter. Before being possessed by it, it’s better to get over the over confidence.